Do Better: A Peek in My Inbox
This is part 9 of a series of articles on sexual harassment, assault, and discrimination in financial services. You can read more about the genesis of the project, as well as the other installments to date on the series landing page.
In Part 8 of this series, I mentioned that as I’ve been publishing the Do Better Series, I’ve been receiving many messages from women who are grateful that this series is shining light on their lived experiences in financial services, and sometimes they share one or two of their own experiences with me. I’m sharing this anonymized note, with permission of the woman who wrote it, so you can see how wide reaching and frequent this issue is, and what the cumulative effect can be on a career.
Hi Sonya,
I am so happy to have found you and so appreciate you speaking out and writing your series.
I entered financial services in 2005 and even though I have never accepted the behavior toward women in our industry, it has always seemed impossible to change.
My first job was at a large financial services firm and boy was it a rude awakening. It is shocking that I even was hired. The leader who interviewed me told me that I would fail because I wasn't aggressive and didn't have a "fire in my belly" - whatever that means. I often think about what a jerk he was and am shocked that it didn't change my path into this industry. Day after day my experience was as your other contributors have noted: inappropriate comments and guys wanting to touch or stand too close to me. I always felt powerless because I had to stay in the training program and I wanted to make it work.
I could see that my career goals weren’t compatible with working at that firm so I made the decision to move to a large investment management company. Turns out, the harassment at the prior company had been a walk in a park compared to the treatment at my new role. The daily comments and outright sexual harassment became so bad that I was physically sick every day upon entering the building. I spoke to my manager and he told me I was too sensitive. He said that I needed to develop tougher skin. I was the only female advisor there.
I found out that I was paid tens of thousands of dollars less in salary than a 'rookie' male in the same role, despite my bringing in more revenue and having more experience. Daily I heard sexual comments and I had to keep my office door closed. Once I was even asked if I went home every day at lunch to have sex with my husband. I ended up quitting and seeking out an attorney. The company countersued and made my life really difficult. I was mandated by my contract to go to arbitration and my attorney advised me to settle. I ended up actually paying the company a lot of money and signing an NDA and agreeing that I could never sue them for sexual harassment. I often think of that time and hate what happened. The power dynamic was not in my favor.
The only way that I have been able to get stronger is to build my own business. Even so, when I go to meetings I find that I am either one of a handful, or the only female in the room. I have had guys say all kinds of crazy things to me and I always think that these men have wives, daughters, etc and they can still justify their behavior. I also wonder how they treat their own female clients. I am motivated though by the thought that I am different, my business is different, and I am creating a safe space for everyone.
And don't even get me started on the fact that I am a woman of color. That is a whole other story!
Sonya, you have created a safe space and I so appreciate it.
Now what?
Think of this story, multiplied out thousands of times, across the many women in financial services who have similar stories. Who does this pattern of behavior serve? Forcing out ambitious and talented employees because we accept patterns of harassment and discrimination doesn’t benefit our industry or those we seek to serve. It isn’t beneficial to retail or institutional investors. It’s not good for money managers. It’s not good for the companies we invest it. And it’s certainly not good for the employees subjected to the harassment, assault, and discrimination.
In the prior installments I’ve offered solutions to consider, in line with the theme of each article. Since this article doesn’t have a theme, I’ll repeat the one request I’ve had in every article so far:
Continue listening to women’s experiences to better understand the problem.
Then go choose one or two solutions from the bottom section of a prior installment and start implementing those ideas in your work life.
If your company is working on this issue, I would be happy to share learning resources, and I would be pleased to help you advance the conversation at your next conference or event.